Trying To Take A Picture Of Jayne...

Closing Christmas

As you may know, I struggled with Christmas a bit this year. But as it all comes to an end, I have spent some time reflecting and realize that there were some very beautiful moments that have made it all worth it. Let me share a few.

The Sunday before Christmas: All of my meetings were canceled so I decided to go to choir practice and join in singing with the ward choir. There were no fabulous arrangements or amazing solos. It was just nice. As a participant, I felt peace in singing praises to my Lord and King. After church, we stayed in our Sunday best and gathered in front of the Christmas tree for pictures. It was just another precious moment as I realized how my children are growing up. They are amazing, don't you think!



The Monday before Christmas: My ever thoughtful husband invited a sweet widow in our ward to join us for Family Home Evening. She had expressed to him that she knew a dramatic Christmas reading but hadn't had a chance to perform it. So, of course, Nathan told her that our family would love to hear her reading. She came for dinner, then put on her shawl and performed a moving and emotional portrayal of Mary as she found out there was no room at the inn. We sang songs together and the children performed their talents for her. It was another beautiful moment for me.



Christmas Eve: We decided to change our traditions a little bit and join our friends, the Stegelmeier's, on Christmas Eve instead of Christmas morning. We all went to an assisted living center in Ogden and sang Christmas songs to the patients there. We even took along the pipe chimes and played for them as well. I'm having a hard to find words to describe my feelings about this moment. Many of the people were very touched by our visit. My heart swelled within me and I had to choke back the tears as I watched their faces soften, the corners of their mouths turn up, and a hand reach to brush away a tear. Definitely a highlight of the season.

Each of these three experiences occurred as I forgot myself and did something for someone else. Each experience filled my heart with love and reminded me of my Savior and His love for us all. I will try to remember this secret to Christmas success for next year.

A Christmas Gift

I just watched this video clip from YouTube. It touched my heart. Merry Christmas!! I love you all.

Without Murmuring....

There is a story in the Book of Mormon about a man named Lehi and his family who leave their home and journey into the wilderness. The Lord was leading them to a promised land. The journey was very difficult. Nephi, who is Lehi's son, says, "We did travel and wade through much affliction in the wilderness; and our women did bear children in the wilderness." (1 Nephi 17:1) I thought a lot about those women in the wilderness this morning and how difficult their lives must have been. They lived in tents. They probably walked as they journeyed. They didn't have many fires. No bathrooms, laundry, kitchens, day spas. There were probably wild animals, insects, extreme heat or cold, lack of food and water. I can only imagine how hard it must have been. Nephi continues, "And so great were the blessings of the Lord upon us, that while we did live upon raw meat in the wilderness, our women did give plenty of suck for their children, and were strong, yea, even like unto the men; and they began to bear their journeyings without murmurings." (17:2)

I have not been journeying without murmuring of late. In fact, I'm not sure if it even qualifies as murmuring anymore. Maybe outright whining and complaining. So how did these women do it? "And thus we see that the commandments of God must be fulfilled. And if it so be that the children of men keep the commandments of God he doth nourish them, and strengthen them, and provide means whereby they can accomplish the thing which he has commanded them." (17:3) As we strive to keep the commandments of God, He does nourish us, strengthen us, and provide for us. Nourish, strengthen, provide. That is how these women bore their burdens without murmuring.

I asked myself, how has the Lord nourished me? To nourish is to promote the growth of something. We are in constant need of nourishment to our body and spirit. Yesterday I was nourished by the power of music. We sang Christmas hymns in Sacrament Meeting and in Young Women's. We took the youth group that sings in our home on Sunday nights out caroling last night. I was nourished by the energy of their youth, by the sound of their songs, and by the love that shone from the faces of the people we sang to. It was a marvelous day.

How has the Lord strengthened me? To strengthen is to make stronger or to increase our ability to resist force. I was strengthened this morning as I studied the good word of God. I am strengthened by a good husband who is patient and loving. I have asked myself if I am really getting stronger spiritually. What I am learning right now is how to dust off and get back up as I continually fall. Hopefully that is spiritual exercise.

The Lord continually provides for me and my family. I once learned that the definition of prosper is to be made able. So when the Lord says he will prosper those who love him, He is making them able to accomplish His work. This is happening continually in my life. I may not be getting rich, but I am being made able to do what needs to be done.

"I will also be your light in the wilderness.... and ye shall know that it is by me that ye are led." (17:13) Not only does Jesus Christ nourish, strengthen,and provide, but He is our light! He is my Light! I do know that it is by Him that I am led. I feel Him near, bearing me up. I hear His reassuring voice, "I am right here." It keeps me going. Maybe I can begin to bear my journeying without murmuring. I will try. Then I will get back up and try again.

Jesus Once of Humble Birth

Eleven days into the "official" Christmas Season (according to me) and I am finally coming to terms with it. As a child, I loved Christmas!! What child doesn't?! It always seemed perfect, warm, magical, full of love and happiness. As a mother, too many of those qualities are missing. It seems that as the calendar flips over to December one, a switch flips in my brain and I turn in to the "Momster." Christmas has become a time of great stress for me. The sad thing is, I don't think I'm the only one out there who feels this way. However, with all I have learned in my life about choice and agency, I know that I have a choice about how I feel about Christmas.

Sunday night, as a family, we watched The First Presidency Christmas Fireside. The music was beautiful! "Once In Royal David's City" was especially memorable for me. The messages were comforting and inspiring. The greatest power came as the Holy Ghost taught me personally about what I need to do to "fix" Christmas for myself. It's all about a baby born in a manger. What Christmas has become in the world has, in my opinion, grown grossly out of control. As the gulf between these two grows wider, something deep inside of me becomes more uncomfortable. So, I will fight to keep what is sacred about Christmas from being covered up in a pile of glitz, lights, paper, presents, money, busy-ness, etc. I want to feel that peace that only comes from the Savior of the World. As I clear away some of the clutter, I am finding that peace.

Once In Royal David's City
Once in royal David's city stood a lowly cattle shed,
Where a mother laid her baby in a manger for his bed:
Mary was that mother mild, Jesus Christ her little child.

He came down to earth from heaven, who is God and Lord of all,
And his shelter was a stable, and his cradle was a stall;
With the poor, and mean, and lowly, lived on earth our Savior holy.

And our eyes at last shall see him, through his own redeeming love;
For that child so dear and gentle is our Lord in heav'n above,
And he leads his children on to the place where he is gone.

Change Your Brain, Change Your Life

I had to restrain myself from blogging everyday last week. Is it okay to blog everyday? I had no idea how fun this would be. Why is it so fun, I ask myself. I think I found the answer. I'm learning something new and my brain is going wild with the excitement of new connections. Last week, Nathan and I watched the program "Change Your Brain, Change Your Life" on PBS. We learned that it is not too late to improve the health of our brains. Really, I had never thought much about brain health. Most of the information was everything we already know about living healthy lives: healthy diet, exercise, sleep, wear a helmet, etc...But what I hadn't realized was the value of learning new things. When we learn someting new, our brains form a new connection. We have countless connections. When we stop learning new things, those connections start breaking apart. I think that has been happening to me. So, just in the nick of time, I found something to keep those connections happening. I learned how to add pictures to my blog. I learned how to create a playlist and add music to my blog. That was very exciting! A learned how to add a blog list. I might try a video or slideshow this week. Look at me GO!! (pause the Christmas music before you watch the video!)

Thank You, Lindsay

We spent Thanksgiving weekend with family in Vernal. It was great to see the ones we love so much. Lindsay showed me her blog and I was inspired to actually move forward with this. This seems to be a theme for me lately. Often, when I don't know what to do or I am out of my comfort zone, I do nothing. What I really need to do is move forward anyway. Taking that step into the dark can be a scary thing. But what I forget is that taking steps moves me closer to where I want to be. I get nowhere when I do nothing. Wow!! That sounds overly simple. Why do I struggle with some of the most basic lessons? It's a matter of faith. I have learned from experience that moving forward even in uncertainty always leads me somewhere. Then as I travel that uncertain path, I soon find that I am once again in the light and my path is being fine-tuned somehow. I come to forks in the road and by moving forward, I find out which fork is best for me. Sometimes I learn this lesson by chosing the wrong fork. But I still learn and I still move forward. So, I move forward in this new age of BLOG. I step forward into the dark and already, I feel that I am on the right path.

Change of Direction

I started this blog thinking it would be a great way for family to keep in touch and share thoughts with one another. At the same time, other family members had the same idea in other ways and I no longer felt the necessity for it. I then realized that I need a personal outlet for my own thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and family life. I also need to brush up on my writing once again. So, here goes!

Welcome!!

Well, this is exciting!! I have absolutely no clue how this works, so I'm going to practice a bit and then I'll pass on what I know to all of you. I hope this will be a great way for us to stay in touch with each other's lives. Here goes!!